Welcome to the rodeo
Tell A Good Story, Even If It Ain’t True
Cheat Only To Combat The Evil And Wicked
Never Stab Someone In The Back, Unless They Deserve It
August 30th, 2019
Continuing The Aftermath
The closer you get to the center of our planet, gravitational potential decreases, ending as a zero sum at the core of its habitation. Forces cancel out left and right to leave whatever within the field weightless, even though through the lens of our interpretive constructs it could be considered counterintuitive to close in on such an enormous foundation and not feel the laws of physical existence take effect. Poetically, it’s a liberation from the ties that bind us to a rock where free will supposedly runs rampant, all the while still retaining the great equalizer of something we must abide by. With a metaphor in mind, this is where the artistic conundrum enters the stage: shouldn’t one feel more of a magnetic pull while approaching the nucleus of total truth in an idea as it’s being executed, as opposed to untethering once the mystery has been solved by reaching the finish line of its middle point?
Truth is a difficult thing. Being honest about the operations of complexity in retrospection and future projection, both with exterior and interior communications, is not only an imperative task that propels solution, but it’s also an uphill sprint that unpredictably inclines at different junctures with little warning or method; especially when a veiled medium involves itself in sussing out the kinks of what our kind attempts to understand. Hesitation to begin chipping away at the sediment between the surface and the core builds in secret at each passing turn that is not taken towards a clear result, and the ordeal of inherent knowing inflates to scale, representing the size of what was trying to be originally avoided. So it seems, the closer you are, the more you’ll float, and the further away one is, the more they will be trapped by the rules of ensnarement.
Today, August 30th, 2019, another step towards that center has been released, and it sounds a little closer to chewing off the leash:
(crush me to jam the tune immediately)
Bad News, I’m Afraid is meant to serve as a cautionary warning to the self, to recite when confronted with the multitude of crutches that attempt to sell themselves daily as paradisiacal alternatives. Too often, scenarios get caught in the loop of manipulative franchise, where both emotional relationships and ideological exchanges become weakened by ignoring the gut and succumbing to the whispers of promise. In such times, the focus needs to return to mechanisms of defense, allowing the negative energy accumulated from the resistance of acceptance to be set free, break boundaries, burn bridges, and battle bullshit. It was conceived as a subversively aggressive advisory against the sneaky machines of trust and forgiveness; reminding the listener that although one should not fret over lost time, it is perfectly acceptable to be angry regarding the lengths of toleration that subjects those involved until the lid is blown off and progressive destruction ensues.
With Loose Story, I was only midway through my objective to showcase both sides of an inspiration that had been festering since the early months of 2018, when I found myself leaving the entirety of a lifetime behind and feeling the duality of anxiousness and anger in the aftermath, hence the decision to collectively name the A/B debut singles “The Dualities Of Anxiety.” These songs felt like complimentary siblings, and in the same breath they resembled an archetypal union of arch nemeses; alike in the style of sonic restraint, subtly relative lyricisms, and pseudo-country elements, and opposing in the areas of the subject material’s perspective, and the overall approach of delineating the moral compass from two sides of the same sentiment. I wanted grace with the first single, but now, I need grit. And truthfully, maybe much to my own demise, I’m elated to put out something that’s more unforgiving, because I’ve reached a point where I’m ok with frustration being the flip-side to complacency on the records we all make throughout our lives. If you have to chew some gravel to spit some cement, you might as well sing about all of it.
The tune stands as a momentary conclusion to the hyperaware melodramatics that this form of creation must uphold to land somewhere near the mark, but it is by no means the end of this cycle. An introductory four song EP is already in the works, although at best it will only continue to be hinted at until the timing coincides with the beginning of our stage show later this year. For now, it’s simply more important for me to connect with those who might be considered my tribe by putting out some pieces before the whole pie, so that whomever finds themselves mirrored in the songs can come along for the journey, and find that they also become a part of the process.
The primary objective throughout this project thus far has been to offer something redemptive, in parallel with discovering a new definition of redemption. My only hope is that it’s done something for you.
Until The Next Rodeo,
June 21st, 2019
For too long I’ve been allowing the bridges I’m burning to light the way into an uncertain future. Although I am positively a fan of negative energy, as I believe for my own specimen that it internally propagates the survivalist lying dormant and growing soft in the off-seasons of adversity, all of this useful aggression still poses a problem when it comes to the tiresome need for repose, contentment, and perspective. Most mornings I arise hellbent on proving others wrong, instead of cordially inviting the spirit to prove myself right, and this can only serve as fuel for a small matter of time before it undoubtedly becomes a depressant; veiling the persistence of doing things for the right reasons, instead of spiteful ones.
This admittance spews out appropriately on a birthday, with symbolism for transformation abound. Today, June 21st, 2019, a debut single is thrown out somewhat haphazardly into the league of having to start somewhere, to call mutiny on my tethering of expectations, and steadfastly break the chains of proof. I can’t comfortably say that this whole thing began as a belief system for myself, as it would be more likely to theorize that the fire from a smoldering past informed the ambition to convince the world that it could be done, or that it ultimately could be better than anything else I’ve done, although that inquiry doesn't matter much now. The reality is that I have never felt at home in any circus of vanity I’ve been a part of up until this juncture, and for the first time on a very, very long timeline of trying, failing, and trying again, I’m putting out something I can be proud of.
Ok, enough of this masturbatory, self-growth-positive-affirmation nonsense. Let’s move on into the meat of things:
(smash me for a shortcut to the song)
Loose Story, at its fundamental essence, is a solemn set of instructions aimed at preparing the listener for presentness in the faces of change. An overall theme of moving forward courses the poem, where the narrator grapples with resolve and conclusion, in an attempt to implement the findings for the betterment of the creative process. I wanted the first few songs to be organic, maybe even rushed, to capture the urgent feeling that is a constant in my heart; to the point where some beats are skipped due to the galloping of time, and the realistic, although detrimental notion, that it is always running out. Some, but definitely not all, of the influences I’m building into the Cowgirls ranch really got a chance to shine on this track - the upbeat shuffle of a roadhouse country tune, the gloomy atmosphere of goth/post, the poetic lyricisms in line with my attraction to vocalists who pay attention to detail, and the swooping overhaul of movement into the choruses that open up like a clearing when it’s needed most.
At this point, after jamming it into the ground, I’ve both loved and hated this song, but it is no longer mine to toil with. It's yours, and you have a chance to connect with it at your leisure, whenever you desire to do so. In the meantime, I’m going to sit back and watch my grudges slip away.
I hope with all of my heart that you can find something in it that speaks to you. The worth of art can only be measured in this capacity.
Oh, and, by the way, the follow-up single will be arriving in August. The next one is a bit more of a ripper.
The Cowgirl Forever In Your Corner,